Strive to Understand One Another
How to deal with conflict within the Hebraic community? Very few people enjoy conflict. In the body of the Messiah, conflict is especially difficult. Our brothers and sisters in Messiah, the people serving beside us, the people serving in an overseer capacity, they’re all people we might potentially meet on the field of battle.
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Knowing how to deal with conflict will determine how people around you perceive you in the future. And therefore it determines the opportunities you’ll see from that point forward for fellowship and deeper relationships and making a difference within the body of the Messiah.
With that in mind, knowing how to better deal with conflict becomes very important indeed. How do you handle these differences of opinion, understands or beliefs? Do you strive to understand one another?
1. Know What You are Really Up Against
What you thought was one big conflict might, in reality, be a collection of smaller conflicts. By understanding what you’re trying to tackle, you’ll be better able to find the resolution needed to move forward. In other words, if you believe the issue is simply a disagreement on doctrine, but in reality, you are dealing with someone who is holding a grudge against you – more than likely it will be impossible to come to a doctrinal agreement.
If their heart is closed to you and until the area of unforgiveness is dealt with nothing else will be resolved. Know what the real problem is. If your opponent appears to be taking a disagreement more seriously than seems reasonable, dig a little.
Creation Gospel Workbook One: The Creation Foundation (The Creation Gospel)50,000 Degrees and Cloudy: A Better Resurrection (BEKY Books Book 14)Truth, Tradition, or Tare: Growing in the Word (BEKY Books) (Volume 7)
Get to know where they are coming from and why their stance means so much to them. Always remember, listening to and endeavoring or striving to understand your brother does not obligate you to agree with his understandings. But his place next to you as your brother or sister in Messiah should guarantee him respect enough to care about their thoughts.
2. Strive for a Calm, Logical Mind while Maintaining Your Strength and Passion
Things quickly escalate where emotions are involved. By striving to understand one another, taking out the hurt and angry feelings and focusing on the facts, you can better confront the real issues, without getting sidetracked by things that only warp your perception of the situation.
I for one, do NOT advocate throwing our emotions out. They are very much a Yah-given part of us and we need to accept and respect that in ourselves and others. However, in the midst of conflict, we are better suited to loving our sister enough to understand her emotions, rather than allowing ours to gain control.
3. Let Go of the Past to Deal with Conflict in the Hebraic Community
Whatever happened, happened. Instead of getting caught in the trap of assigning blame, instead, focus on the situation where it is now. It’s better to spend your energy on problem-solving rather than history. Many times we simply need to forgive and move past the situations of the past.
If we have reached total forgiveness we should be able to love and accept people where they are today. Besides, isn’t it better to be the bigger person? Many will insist on digging up the past and pounding it until you agree with them. This is a great situation to place Biblical boundaries around.
4. Look at the Bigger Picture as You Deal with Conflict
Did this conflict come about because of circumstances that were outside of anyone’s control? It might be some context is needed to calm the situation down. Once the entire situation is clearly understood, it’s much easier to move forward without a lot of anger and recriminations.
Oh context!! If only we would remember to strive to understand the context in the Word AND in our relationships. If we could stop believing everything we hear from others, if we would dig for the genuine context, we would begin to grasp our opponent’s perspective. First-hand info and understanding is the only truth that exists in these situations. Strive to understand what happened from one another’s point of view.
5. Watch Your Words
While it’s good being honest, you don’t need to blurt out every last thing that you’re thinking. Own up to your part in things. Honest introspection goes a long way in finding your own shalom. How to deal with conflict within the Hebraic community? Take a long hard look at yourself.
“Humility is the key to conflict resolution. Without humility it’s nearly impossible to resolve conflict. Pride will keep you focused on the wrongness of the other person and your rightness (Prov. 12:15). Pride will cause you to nurse your offense. Pride will blind you to your own contribution to the conflict and keep you from repenting. “Heritage SC
Listen carefully to what others have to say. And when you do speak, try to use a calm tone of voice and stay focused on the matter at hand. Passion is good and being strong should not be forbidden, but remember many are unable to withstand what they find different or overwhelming. Keep in mind that your words need to reach a heart that is open to understanding.
If you are in a situation of talking to a closed heart, excuse yourself from the conversation. Do not cast your pearls where they will surely be trampled.
6. Allow Resolution to Deal with Conflict
Whether or not you approve of any solution, accept it when one is found and agreed upon. Then let go of the conflict and don’t revisit it. Move on. While it is seldom that we have encountered folks in the midst of a struggle in the fellowship that are willing to agree to disagree and come to a place of resolution, we do believe it is possible and should be what we strive for. Our walk together must include striving to understand one another.
A resolution does not mean:
- a) that the issue is not important
- b) that you have to agree with what you don’t
- c) that you have to continue in close relationship with those who have crossed lines.
Boundaries are important in keeping the health of your sanity and relationships. If boundaries cannot be respected by others, you need to consider closing that relationship.
What would our Hebraic Fellowships be without conflict?
While many dread it when it comes, it’s good to remember that conflict is what always precedes growth, and growth is what’s necessary for progress in our relationship with each other and YHVH.
What’s important to remember then, is how we deal with conflict that matters. Will we allow conflict to overwhelm us and stop us in our tracks? Or will we allow it to guide us toward the growth we so desperately need?
How to deal with conflict within the Hebraic community? Strive to understand one another.